Thursday, October 14, 2010

Living in my own little world...

I am feeling down-in-the-dumps today.
As I sit here and do my breathing treatments, for the third time today, I feel sorry for myself. I hate that it seems as though my life revolves around my health. I hate Cystic Fibrosis. I am tired of treatments, I am tired of pills, I am tired of coughing, stomach cramps, chest pains, fatigue, aching joints...getting short of breath just chasing my kids.
As I sit here alone at my own pity-party, I remember a song that I heard earlier today on the radio.
"What if there’s a bigger picture?
What if I’m missing out?
What if there’s a greater purpose I could be living right now?
Outside my own little world."
Matthew West
How could I be so wrapped up in my own misery, if I can even call it that? I am so blessed. Blessed beyond belief.
I have a wonderful husband (who I am madly in love with), two gorgeous children that fill my heart with an abundance of joy, a wonderful family and friends (might I add that I have the best and most supportive parents and grandparents in the world) and most importantly,
a God who loves me for me. He loves me just the way I am.
How could I not smile when I think of all the wonderful-ness (is that even a word?!) in my life!
I want to step outside my own little world. This world is not only about me. There is a much greater picture that I close myself off from at times.
I think that sometimes I so selfishly get caught up in my own burdens that I forget that I really do have the power to impact others with love...even if it is just sharing a smile.
I am not here for my purpose, I am here for God's purpose.
I am not feeling so down anymore, after all...my life is not all that horrible. Come to think of it, I wouldn't change a thing.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Christina! I hear you 100% on this one. The worst is when you have a day when you feel good, but you have to do your treatments, so you are just reminded again and again that CF exists and is here to stay. It's so hard sometimes...

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